


Green Mist

by gabrielnovakgoestomyschool



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Gen, M/M, a nothingness drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 08:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3481532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabrielnovakgoestomyschool/pseuds/gabrielnovakgoestomyschool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A green mist is rolling into town, there's strange chanting, and Carlos calls Cecil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green Mist

“Now remember, if you hear ominous chanting, the appropriate response is to run. Run far, far away. Run back to your houses. Hide in the bathtub, and scream until you can no longer hear the chanting or your own thoughts. 

Welcome… to Night Vale.”

Hello, listeners. Just a reminder, this week, when you hear ritualistic sacrifice chanting, do not approach it. Look, I know it can be tempting, trust me, I heard some on my way to work this morning. I really wanted to go towards it. It was so calming. But Old Woman Josie, out near the car lot, says her army of Angels (who I would like to remind you, do not exist) have informed her that the level of evil spirits out this week is unnaturally high. Even city council has released an announcement warning us to stay away. 

Mayor Pamela Winchell was quoted as saying ‘Do not go towards the chanting. This is serious. Normally we don’t encourage such silly behavior as belief in evil spirits, and other such nonsense. But this is serious. Our population has been turned into 70% spirits, 20% human, and 10%... unidentifiable.’

So there you go, listeners. Chanting = bad. Remember that. Chanting = bad. 

And now, the news.

Today’s weather is garbled purple. Thursday will be cloudy with a chance of dead animals falling from the sky. Friday will be mostly void with a high level of toxicity. 

John Peters, you know, the farmer, has reported a strange, green mist rolling into the town. He noticed it at 6:00 this morning. All of the crops it rolled over have turned a similar green colour. As of now, we don’t know exactly what it is, what it does, or if it will affect us. Just another reason to get your shopping done early! We never know when we’ll all turn into radioactive puddles of goo. And dying without groceries seems like a terrible crime to me.

The local community theatre is putting on a play! How exciting! They released a series of shrill cries today, roughly translating to this- We do not neeeed your help. You are worthlesssss. We will do all the work. The play issss never, and none of you are invited. Enjoy your worthlesssss lives withouttt the comfort of this amazing play. Enjoy a living helllll.

Now that certainly sounds interesting.

Listeners, I have an announcement to make. Today, Carlos called me. I know you’re probably all saying ‘why do I feel the sudden and insatiable need to rip my skin off?’ and also ‘Well, Cecil, Carlos calls you often. He is, after all, your boyfriend’ to which I will tell you. The first is just a symptom of life. Secondly, he called just to say he loved me. How sweet it that, listeners? And then he asked if I wanted to watch a mysterious meteor shower that wasn’t supposed to happen. I am ecstatic. I mean, I wish I could just go out with him sometimes. I mean, c’mon, Carlos, science, while important, isn’t the only thing in the world and-

Oh. Uhm. Sorry, listeners. I have just been informed by intern Leah that my show must come to an early close today so that they can play a long stream of ominous chanting. I’m sure it’s not the same one city council warned us about. It’s all safe. But I would just- maybe… turn down your radio for a bit. Juuuust to be safe.

As always, stay safe. Goodnight, Night Vale, goodnight.

 

Today’s proverb is- It’s not gay if it’s a 27 ½ way.


End file.
